To Share or Not to Share? That is the Question!

Contrary to popular belief, I do not divulge every detail of my life on this here little blog. Yes, Not Me! Mondays force me to share some of the little insignificant embarrassing things, but then we all have a laugh at ourselves and feel better. It is the bigger things in life that are harder to share. It is difficult to put some things out there for the whole world to know. I debated back and forth over writing this post tonight. I try to keep it light and funny here and I usually only talk about my kids. Finally, I decided that it was worth the risk in sharing. Last month I went to my high risk ob because I hadn't had a period in 3 months. I was terrified I was pregnant, even though he had tied my tubes when Jack was born. Lucky for me, I wasn't. My doctor prescribed me some hormones and poof, it came. I didn't really think anything of it, but lately I have been having some really sharp pains in my left breast. The combination of these two things got me thinking. So I did a self exam, and I think I found a lump... it is about the size of a marble. I called the local ob/gyn today and they want to see me TOMORROW! That kind of freaked me out, because usually doctors can't just fit people in so soon. It kind of hit home with me that this might actually be something serious. I have spent my whole life despising my big boobs. To me they have always been nothing but a back breaking curse. I even had a breast reduction @ 14 and they still continued to grow, like they were taunting me. Yet, however much I may have complained about them over the years, I am still kinda attached to them. As I sat here tonight thinking about all of my wonderful new bloggy friends asking myself whether to share or not to share, I realized that the only thing holding me back was the idea that if I wrote it down, it might be real. But you know what, no matter what I do it is going to be real. I can kid myself all I want, but at some point I have to face the "reality" of the situation. So here it is people - I am going to the doctor tomorrow @ 1:00 and would rather go in there knowing that I have the power of prayer on my side. So if you feel so moved, say a little prayer tomorrow for me and my peace of mind. I thank you in advance! Now, I'm off to take a nice long bath and shave my armpits. I sure wouldn't want the doctor to think that just because it has been cold here lately, that I was trying to grow a winter coat under there!